


Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

by akatsuki_tsukiyomi (Yumi25Nakashima)



Series: First Blush [3]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Disapproving Family, Established Relationship, F/M, Hetalia Countries Using Human Names, Light Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, Reunions, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28525896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yumi25Nakashima/pseuds/akatsuki_tsukiyomi
Summary: No more memories no more silent tearsNo more gazing across the wasted yearsHelp me say goodbye
Relationships: Russia (Hetalia)/Reader
Series: First Blush [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2089500
Kudos: 4





	Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again

**Author's Note:**

> (F/N) - Reader's First Name  
> (L/N) - Reader's Last Name  
> Ivan Braginsky - Russia's official human name  
> The lyrics of the song are italicised.

_You were once my one companion_  
_  
_

(F/n) sniffed lightly as she sat in the corner of her large bedroom, wearing a thick woollen pullover and tights with a cream scarf thrown around her shoulders. It was his, the scarf. She had gotten it from his closet one day when he permitted her to borrow it.

_You were all that mattered_

Of course, she had no intentions of giving it back, even up till now. In fact, there was no way she could. Even if she tried. It was the only thing keeping her sane at the moment. One of the rare things that reminded her of him. And the only thing that her parents had not gotten rid of. _Yet_. Of course, she knew they'd probably burn it if they found out. But they were away for a week, thank goodness.

_You were once a friend and father_

They never really approved, her parents, of her relationship with her beloved. They thought it wasn't very nice to see. They wanted her to be with another, his father being a close partner of their company. But she didn't want that. She wanted a say in the matter, but they gave her none. 

And they found a way to part them. They took her to America, halfway across the globe, just to keep her away from the cream-haired male.

_Then my world was shattered_

Almost everything was perfect. For those moments that the two lovers were together, it was complete and absolute bliss. They loved each other as lovers should and treated each other right and fair. Arguments, of course, couldn't be helped, but they stopped just as quickly as they started.

_Wishing you were somehow here again_  
  


(F/n) stood shakily, going over to her work desk and swiped everything to the floor. Ignoring the materials hitting the ground carelessly, she wiped her eyes and opened her journal. Her pen quickly swivelled as she poured all her emotions into her writing.

_Wishing you were somehow near_

As her pen slipped from her hands, she laid her head on her crossed arms and groaned in sorrow.

 ** _"Ivan... I miss you."_** She mumbled.

_Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed, s_ _omehow you would be here_

**\---**

_Wishing I could hear your voice again, k_ _nowing that I never would_

A certain cream-haired male tossed and turned in his sleep, groaning ever so lightly. As he rolled onto his back, he awoke startled. Beads of sweat were running down his pale skin, his breathing laboured, and his palms were clammy.

As he came down from his hysterical panic attack, the Russian male dropped his head onto his hands and let out a frustrated whimper.

"(F/n)." Was the only thing he seemed to chant all throughout the night, even until the morning sun took the place of the silver moon, and even until the whole part of the world was awake.

He had not gotten out of his room for days, worrying the elders. He had not eaten, save for a few gulps of water, and tiny nibbles. It was devastating, his state. He seemed to want to starve himself to death, poor thing.

_Dreaming of you won't help me to do_  
  


He can still remember quite clearly all the times he and (F/n) were still together, and that fact alone already made him die in the inside. It was maddening. She was so, _so_ far away, and he couldn't do anything to go to her.

Her incredibly soft hair, her dazzling eyes, and her voice. Oh, her voice, it was like a symphony of the angels. And it was maddening. To not see her, hear her, touch her.

_All that you dreamed I could_

As he left his bedroom for the first time in almost two weeks, Ivan stalked through the familiar corridors of his parents' mansion and stopped at the front door.

_Passing bells and sculpted angels, c_ _old and monumental_

"Mr. Ivan?" One of the maids called out, surprised to see him up and about. He simply ignored her and instead pushed the door handle down and pulled the door towards him.

_Seem for you the wrong companions_

"I'm going out." He said in a small voice. As he stepped onto the stone pavement, the Russian male flinched at the sun. From inside the pocket of his pants, his phone started ringing.

  
_You were warm and gentle_

An unknown number was calling him. Although he usually gave it no mind and would not bother answering, he figured he had nothing else to do.

"да?" **Yes** He answered uninterestedly.

"Ivan?" A familiar voice called out, unsure. The said male almost dropped the hand-held device in shock but quickly composed himself as he trudged through the snow-covered ground.

"(F/n)?"

"Ivan, it _is_ you! I've missed you so much!" She cried in joy. His mind barely processed the fact that he had no idea how she managed to make a phone call, he was too mesmerised by her voice.

"(F/n)," He mumbled softly, picturing her beautiful smiling face in his head. He stopped suddenly and gulped in a breath.

_Too many years fighting back tears_  
  


"How did you manage to call? I thought your parents locked you in the house?" He questioned gravelly.

"I managed to bribe the chef to lend me her phone for a while." She replied with slight pride. A chuckle left her lips as she continued.

"I didn't actually think it'd work. But mom and dad are away for the week. Anyway, guess what?" She started telling him all the things that happened the last few weeks and it actually seemed that they had not been forcefully ripped apart. And in that moment, Ivan just wanted to live it over and over and over again. He loved hearing her happy and was devastated to see her as much as frown.

_Why can't the past just die?_

"(F/n)." He said, cutting her off from her storytelling. She became silent, giving him her undivided attention. 

"I _need_ you." Was all he said, cursing silently as his voice gave away the emotion he was trying to hide.

"I know. I need you too, but I just," See cut herself off and hissed out a cuss.

"They're back early... But you said... Alright, alright..." Was all he could hear as the phone was taken away from her mouth. She sounded panicked. What had just happened?

"Ivan, I have to go. My parents are back, I promise I'll call when I get the chance. I love you." The line went dead before he could open his mouth, much to his dismay.

_Wishing you were somehow here again, k_ _nowing we must say, "Goodbye"_

**\---**

_Try to forgive, teach me to live, g_ _ive me the strength to try_

(F/n) quickly shoved the phone into the head chef's waiting hands, and both of them scurried about, trying to look as normal as possible before her parents walked into the kitchen. Seeming to pay no attention to their somewhat frazzled appearance, her mother stepped forward.

"Darling, we need to talk." She called out, motioning her to follow them. Her tone was soft and gentle, a tone the girl hadn't heard in a while. And it scared her. They arrived at the lavish parlour and she sat opposite them. Her hands were neatly folded on her lap, mimicking her mother.

"What is it, mother?" She inquired politely. The elder woman's eyes saddened at the formal term. Her daughter had only started calling her that when she had taken her to America. It pained her to know that (F/n) could not address her the same way again.

_No more memories, no more silent tears; n_ _o more gazing across the wasted years_

"We had a talk with him, dear." Her father spoke up, pertaining to the man they had arranged for her to be with.

He leaning forward and placed his elbows on top of his knees. He had a serious look on his face, but it was obvious that he was trying to show something else. It was probably just her imagination, but (F/n) could swear that she saw a flash of guilt wash over his features for half a second before he composed himself.

"He cancelled the engagement," (F/n)'s eyes went wide and her jaw dropped. "He understands that the circumstances are, complicated. He already discussed the conditions with his father. This arrangement will not push through."

She immediately shot up. Facing her parents, she clenched her fists.

"I need to get to Ivan. Please, I beg of you. If the engagement is cancelled, then there's no reason for you to lock me in this godforsaken place." She pleaded. The couple looked at each other first before they nodded in silent agreement. They both stood and handed her something in a purse.

"Your passport is ready, and the flight is arranged. There's an apartment already prepared and someone will meet you once you arrive."

_Help me say, "Goodbye"_

**\---**

(F/n) stepped out of the rotating glass doors and felt the cool breeze slice through her face as she looked around the rows and rows of people and cardboard signs. She kept looking around as she pulled her luggage along. Her parents told her she was to be picked up by a designated driver back to their house but she saw no signs of anyone looking like their driver, the friendly old man she had often talked to growing up.

Shrugging, she opted to take a cab. Her flight was shorter than she had expected. She made sure to remind herself to give him a call to cancel his trip to the airport. 

She weaved through the crowd of arms and baggage and voices calling out.

As she finally managed to slip out of the sea of bodies, her breath was sucked in in alarm. Right at the clearing, there stood a certain cream-haired man, holding a bonnet and a cream scarf, identical to the one wrapped snugly around his neck. Her eyes met sparkling violet hues and she dropped her suitcase, immediately lunging at the male, wrapping her arms around his neck in delight.

"Ivan! How did you know I was going to be here?" He gave her a soft smile as he slipped on the bonnet over the top of her head and her ears and enveloped her neck and shoulders in the scarf.

"Your parents gave me a call sometime last night. I'm so glad you came, (F/n)," He breathed out, burying his face into the nook of her neck and shoulder, relishing her sweet fragrance.

Her smile flew into a grin as she pulled away and grabbed the handle of her forgotten trolley bag.

_"Let's go home."_

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally published in Wattpad on Sep 12, 2015.


End file.
